No One Wants To Play...
2003-09-11 - 10:24 a.m.
With the help and insight of Emilys' pre-school teacher, I am discovering why she has been behaving the way she has. What seemed so confusing before, now makes sense.
You've heard of children who have imaginary "friends" right? Well, Emi has an imaginary life. In another country. Austrailia is her country of choice. She has sisters, brothers, parents, pets, and a home there. They all have names too. Of course the names sometimes change, but one thing is for sure, in her mind, they are hers and they DO exist. She talks daily about her "family" wether it's about her brother losing a tooth or he Moms favorite cake on her birthday, or how her pets behave. I used to become annoyed with everything being about "Austrailia". I wanted her to be in the here and now. But I never said anything for fear of stifiling her imagination. I couldn't understand her obsession with this family of hers. She never seemed unhappy to me. And she had no trouble playing alone. My older two never did this as toddlers. I was puzzled. So I went for advice. I would've come on here for advice but my stats have been at 0 to 1 for so long I figure nobody is reading this to be able to offer any.
Well after talking to the teacher, who has had like 20 years experience with toddlers, I discovered the Emily is lonely. At first I thought, what?? No way. She always seems so upbeat and happy and well adjusted and I am always there. Then I thought about it. I may be there but I can't always play the little games and stuff that she'd like to play. Also, I have a 9 and 11 year old. They have soccer, and baseball and cub scouts and homework help, and pre-puberty crisises (sp?) that I also have to split my time with. They don't often play with their sister because they have their own (big kid) things to do that Emi is left out of. She is mature for her age which I thought was swell, but she wants to be a little kid and do things with other little kids.
The other two never had imaginary anything because they were 2 years apart and always had each other. And all those times her Daddy came home from work to tired to play chasing games with her, or me not looking directlly at her while she spoke because Im too busy cooking or what-not.
The kid goes off on her own not because she likes it, but because there is no one there that wants to play. Personally, I feel like complete doo doo for not noticing. So she has this imaginary family in Austrailia who always have time to sit and play.
I'm going to make it a point to give her a little extra. Also I am setting up playdates with her friends at school. The teacher would like her to go 5 days a week as soon as she turns 4. Anyone who knows her, knows she is more than ready for it. I want to give her a little sister or brother but that takes a little time and more thought then oh say, lets buy a puppy. I guess what Im getting at is that now I "get" her behavior. Now I can help it. And the more time she has with children her own age and doing activities the less importance Austrailia will have. Somebody slap me up side the head with a day old loaf of bread please.
Oh and we heard about a car lot here that will give us a huge discount. It's a diplomatic discount that will save on the taxes and stuff so maybe we will be able to get a mini van sooner. I hope, I hope.
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