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About Me
I eat, therefor, I'm ham
2003-05-07 - 10:05 a.m.

In the third floor room of this house the windows are arched and there are 3. It looks just like the Amytiville Horror house. Did I spell that right? Well anyway, that's what it looks like. Everytime I sit up here I keep waiting for a voice to whisper ever so delicatly in my ear "Get out...." Then I'd have a reason for screaming, stark raving mad, down the stairs. For now, I just do it for the practice. The view out the windows is gorgeous though. I feel lucky on that count. The thing about moving to Vienna for me is, it's as though I am finally awakening from a long slumber and oh whatta feeling...

For the past 4 years while I was in Cali. I fell into a deep slump that I couldn't seem to pull out of and it was well, crappy. I had my third child and put on alot of extra weight. I was in an accident that injured my back so it was my excuse to be on my butt for 6 months. I gained more weight and was heavier than I ever was in my life. It made it harder to move around and I couldn't stick with any diet long enough to have any affect and I lacked motivation. I know that happens to people but I continued to make excuses for four years. I went out less and less and was rarely physically active. I played fast food poker with Glen every other night (I'll see your double cheeseburger and raise you a large fries and a chocolate shake. Whaddya mean you're out? I'm just gettin started. Now anty up dammit!!!) I thought of so many things that I wanted to do. Excercise, take up hobbies, start writing again, hell even clean the kitchen. Everything was always "yea I wanna do it, but I'll start tomorrow." I barely got out of the house for fear I'd miss the latest paternity tests on Maury Povich or Jenny Jones. I drooled with anticipation to see Jerry Springer. Emily's first words were "Jerry! Jerry!" It was my New Years resolution to read 4 books in a year. A year. And I didn't do it. I know, how very, very sad. But this is where that story stops.

I have been in Vienna for two months. I have no regular tv. Only movie DVDs which I rarely sit down and watch. The more I go without it, the more I don't miss it. I read 4 books in a month and a half. I walk the beautiful trails everyday and I drink in the fresh air. I am surrounded by nature and inspired by everything. I am going back to my childhood when I was content to sit in the sun and stare at the ants in the grass with fascination. I feel so much more alive and so much more calm. I'm not on a time schedule. I stop and smell the flowers literally. I'm able to move around alot better. I am able to mentally relax so I am phsycally so much better. I am so happy I came here. It's exactly what the doctor ordered. I wish my parents could be here too. I have obviously taken up writing too. I am rather rusty since it's been awhile, but with practice is improvement. I lie awake at night thinking of all the things I'll do tomorrow and then when I wake up I actually do them. Well, except for the ThighMaster. I'm working on that one still. Tomorrow.

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