Emily wanted her hair cut. She�s been nagging me about it for about 6 months now. I didn�t want her to because she has this gorgeous sun kissed blonde hair that reached her butt in length. I would kill to have hair like that again. I realize however that when you are 8 you just don�t know what you�ve got or the potential power it holds. Plus, I loved to brush it for her and did every night and in the morning before school. I am not schooled in the art of frou frou hair or braids or anything so all I could do was brush it and put it in a ponytail or pull it back in a head band (How oh how did someone like me wind up with 3 girls??) But oh how I love to brush those long golden locks of hers. It reminded me of blond silk or something. Sigh. I almost tear up thinking about it. But she was the only young girl (around her age group) with hair as such and she wanted to conform to fit in rather than bask in her uniqueness.

We decided that if it must go, it should go to a good cause. We sent it to Locks of Love so that it could be used to make a wig for some little girl who is going through chemo. I couldn�t think of a better way to send off her hair. Now it can shine on someone else�s head.

My hair is currently looking like crap and in need of some serious work. The top half is dark, dark blonde and the bottom half is light blonde thanks to the dye job from last summer that has been growing out. Plus, I haven�t had it cut since then either. Going to a hair salon for me, is like going to the dentist in a way. I�m always nervous about the pain and what I�ll end up with. Yes, it pains me very much when I get a cut that doesn�t go well with my potato-shaped head. I�ll probably just dye it myself and cross my fingers. As far as the cut, I am sort of stuck in the wrong decade (at least my hair is) because even when I have it done my hair morphs back into the perpetual 70s style it loves so much.

My weight seems to be bothering me and I�m not really sure why. I only gained 30 pounds during my pregnancy and already lost 20 of it. I was overweight to begin with though. Pfft. I keep thinking I should be one of the current actresses that go back to a cute size 4 only six weeks after giving birth. Or at least have lost 50 pounds by now. It�s been a month since Madison was born and I still have to wear my stupid ass maternity clothes and it�s making me grumpy. I have size 12 and 14 shorts but when I modeled them the other day I had this really nifty camel toe/muffin top combo going on that just wasn�t working for me. I keep telling myself I need to give me a little more time but for any of you who have been pregnant you know that feeling you get after 9 months of your body not being your own, you get anxious for things to be (or as close to) what they were. I shouldn't read those celeb mags. Sometimes they suck.

Well, my biggest headache I suppose is not having a T@rget or W@l-mart handy to just buy a couple cheap pairs a size up till I get where I want to be. Clothes just aren�t the same here in Madrid and I can�t figure out the sizing. I HATE trying stuff on. The weather has been a real smart ass in being cold and rainy for weeks and then in a sudden twist it�s 80 and dry out. And me here with a bunch of sweats. And maternity jeans. Is it any wonder I�m pissy?

So see? See how my title blends with my ramblings? Aren�t I so clever? Yea, I know. It�s these little moments that keep me going.

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