Ok so it�s after 11 at night and I�ve been drinking gin and tonic. Go figure. I plan to ramble on. If you don�t like it well� there�s a scant few that come here anywho and this outlet is for me.

I have my ipod on. Almost 400 songs and 4 out of 5 remind me of the ex that won�t disappear. I�m not sure where I am with that. I talked to his current lady (been with him on and off for 11-12 yrs) a few days ago. I used to hate her. Till I woke up and realized he played us. We hated each other for so long. I don�t hate her now. She believes what she needs to stay with him. I won�t argue it with her. There are children involved. I talked to her though. She said she always hated me because I wasn�t over him. I told her she was right, sort of. For years, I wasn�t over the boy I fell in love with and had 2 kids with. But as I told her, that boy no longer exists. I hate for anyone to be unhappy like that. Even her. At any rate, after all this time I had wished her a merry Christmas and hopefully a better new year. Believe it or not, I meant it.

Anyway, I have been down and out as of late. Food poisoning is a bitch my friend, a bitch. I didn�t get the award at work I was nominated for and a 3 inch cockroach found its way up my ass and back. Not the week I�d hoped for. On the bright side, the kids are happy enough and tomorrow we hit Kribi. It�s a beach place here in Cameroon. I need a vacation so bad right now. So tired of the mundane.

That�s why I�m drinking the gin at 11 at night on the computer.

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