The weeks have gone by and my sanity is going with it. Did you know you can get a 30 pack of 10mg v@lium for less than 3 bucks and no prescription? Or the when hubby gets a laptop for the fuck of it , its 300 more than mine and fancy when mine was a BIG Christmas present. Or that I stink so bad after 1 day no one would touch me? Or my favorite of all, if it wasn�t for him, I�d be shit cuz I had nothing going for me when he met me being a stupid hillbilly mom and all. Makes you wonder why I�d rather be sedated. 12 years is hardly the time to say this then � but I still want to be with you� I fell like shit daily. Shit like I HAVEN�T FELT IN YEARS. I have gutless siblings who can only talk shit behind my back and never know what my days are like in a fuckin 3rd world country. I have a big fuck you to everyone that not even 8 v@lium a full glass of straight whiskey. And r0bitussin haven�t soothed. I don�t writ cuz I don�t want sympathy or pity or anything. I just want to be depressed and pissed until it leaves my system. That�s all. I have a bowl of tadpoles I watch.

Today was packout. In 11 days we leave. Madrid just emailed to say my C average son cannot be accepted at their fucking school. I just want to go home. I just want my mom and Dad.

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