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Let's get Physical (or just eat a cookie)
2007-04-27 - 8:56 a.m.

Yesterday, I decided to go on a two-day liquid diet to cleanse myself. I dragged myself to the gym. When I got there, I stretched and stared at myself in the wall mirror. I sucked in, pushed out, and used my hands to sculpt my face into model form. The typical stuff I do in front of the mirror. I know, I can be so freakin vain at times. Still.

With ipod blaring the rockin sounds of the 70s and 80s I hopped on the treadmill and pushed the button. The little screen did not light up. I hopped off and checked the plug and tried again. Still nothing. Fine. Iíll use the other damn treadmill. Iím not fond of the second one cuz I canít see in the mirror while Iím mouthing the words to a Pat Benetar song and losing myself in the moment (I own it). I know, I know. To my surprise there was no lighting of the screen when I pushed that button either.

I started to panic. I ran to the phone and called hubby begging him to FIX IT! He came down, checked all the parts, plugs, outlets etc. Nothing. He went and got a different power strip. Nothing. It was then that the CLO lady (community liaison) was walking by and said that a huge power flux hit the day before and blew the damn things as well as the tv. I dropped to my knees and wailed Noooooooo! NOT THE TREADMILLS!!! I nearly crawled into a fetal position and sobbed.

This meant Iíd have to use (gasp) other machines. I used the bike. After 20 minutes, my size 14-16 ass hurt like hell from the size 2 seat. No seriously. My ass coulda swallowed that seat. Then I moved to that ski/run/whatever machine. 20 minutes of that and my shirt was soaked in sweat. I did weights too. I worked out for over two hours. But without my beloved treadmill it just wasnít the same. Like sex where only one person has an orgasm and it wasnít you. Sigh.

So then I finished the day with only one thought on my mind. Food. I managed to survive the day on slim-fast and water alone but, food. On my mind. Food.

I lay in bed describing all the foods Iíd like to eat when we get back to the good ol US of A. Believe it or not, this is common conversation in most circles. You donít know what you got till you got no choice. I listed menu items from Red Lobster, Outback steakhouse, and even Jack in the Box and Taco Bell till I fell asleep and dreamt about marijuana, my sister Tara and I in a boat to California from Oklahoma only we missed the turn and wound up in Alaska, and denying my husband the chance to buy silver cutlery for 1,000 dollars. It was 1,000 bucks for forks and spoons! Hell, no. And of course, I dreamt of food.

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