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The quirkiness that is me
2007-02-07 - 11:00 a.m.

It started yesterday when I had “a moment”. I was in the bathroom; just sitting there relieving myself when I grabbed the paper and the springy tube thing popped off and the paper went flying. I said “Shit!” reached down to get up and came up bashing my skull on the corner of the sink then yelling “mother fucker” cuz no kids could hear. As I rubbed my throbbing head I suddenly felt like that was such a 3 Stooges moment and I shoulda been saying “Why I oughta…” and the sink would go “Whoop Whoop whoop whoop”.

So then I got to thinking about myself. I looked in the mirror. I do not have porcelain smooth soft skin. I’d say I have more of a ruddy, earthy complexion, which means blotchy and scarred but I like the first definition better. I actually like my face though. I like the imperfections. I don’t feel like I have to stride too hard to be anything extra. That’s me, down to earth. I have 2 webbed toes on both of my feet and my pinky toes are so curled up (both have been broken more than twice) that 90% of the time I am without pinky toenails. It’s hard to get a pedicure when you say just paint the damn toe. I’m messy and disorganized but I still like things a certain way. I laugh hard and loud at really stupid comedy. I belch and I cuss and I tease my kids. I read a lot and I watch a lot of tv. If I were in the states I’d watch a lot of Baaaad tv. I laugh at myself often. I’m easy to talk to and people tend to feel comfortable saying anything to me. I give off that vibe I think that says, “Don’t worry, and be who you are. I won’t judge” I sleep with 4 to 5 pillows every night. I snore but I deny it. I bite my nails when I’m nervous or agitated. I like to sing loudly to my favorite music and I love to boogie down to disco. I know at least half the lyrics to some of my kids’ music. I impersonate Elmo, Kermit, Cartman, Beavis and Butthead. Not too bad for a girl either. I drink too much coffee in the morning. When I’m really excited I clap my hands together like a toddler would. I cry when I see certain things on TV. I’m a klutz. I dance like a lunatic white girl but I don’t care. I’m forever doing stupid things to myself. Sometimes I stutter and have trouble finishing a sentence because the words escape me. I really, really love cheese. And sushi. And mayonnaise. I have a mole on my breast. I won’t eat turkey stuffing because the sight and smell reminds me of vomit. When I was small I wished I was a boy. I also wished I could fly and be invisible. I daydreamed that Darth Vader was my Dad. I love music and concerts. I think you can tell a lot about a person by the music they listen to most. I want to be a DJ for a classic rock station. I am happiest in the Fall. I almost named Kelly Autumn. She came in Dec. though. I make up really lame jokes. I drink too much coffee. I have the attention span of a gnat. Although there are certain things I would adjust overall, I like me. Yea, that pretty much sums me up.

So now, what about you?

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