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I Want A New Drug
2005-04-22 - 8:05 p.m.

Itís been a ruff week folks, a ruff week. My puppy has made 3 trips to the vet with a chest cold that sounds like croup. Not to mention all the times she gets up in the night to wee. I have had a lot of other stress factors so I havenít walked all week, eaten nothing but crap and look as good as I felt. But today, today my dear friends I am on an amazing high. Oh you wouldnít believe it I canít believe it myself yet here I am and I feel good.

It all started with me wanting to own a juicer. See I want to eat healthy foods but Iím simply too lazy to crunch on carrots all day. I thought if I could just drink them that would be so cool. Iíd get the vitamins, theyíd digest quicker, and I wouldnítí have to waste time crunching away. So I go browsing online for a juicer and see that those suckers cost between 100-200 bucks. Iím kind of cheap so I just forgot about it. And thenÖTHEN I went to Overstock.com and found a Juice M@ster for 39.99 and I bought it. Sure not as big and fancy as most but still. When it arrived my week was at the beginning of craptacular so the box sat unopened on my counter with its brightly colored pictures of fresh fruits and vegetables. It almost taunted me. I was being tormented by other things though so I ignored it. But then today, I had to go to the grocery store for milk for the kids (puppy in backpack strapped to me) and bought some fruits and veggies with a promise to use them before they rotted.

After I picked up Emi from school she saw all the fruits and begged me to try the new toy so I gave in and pulled it out. I figured Iíd screw around and see what I got. The first drink was a cucumber and 2 kiwis. It was kinda like salty sweet. I chugged it. Something zapped in me and I decided to go for more. I made a carrot orange drink and chugged that. The next thing I know I am on a juice high and feeling giddy as hell. This is some seriously great sh@t. And it is 100% pure baby! Now thatís what Iím talking about! Tonight I was so over zealous that I made a cabbage/carrot/tomato drink and drank it. Didnít taste real good but not bad either. My high kicked in again. I used the cabbage pulp to make a cabbage and onion soup. Man, I think Iím gonna use everyday now. Iíll be an addict. And tomorrow my bathroom journey should be kick ass. Who needs an enema when you have this kind of fun? And mentally, yea, I do feel better. There is something to be said for natural stuff huh? But you knew that.

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