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Yes, I would like a little ass-cream
2005-04-09 - 8:34 a.m.

I watch Oprah here, usually everyday because thatís the only thing on at the 10 oíclock spot besides the pentagon channel. So this one day there was an episode on defying aging. Ok I know Iím only 33. And 10 years ago when I was 23 I had the attitude that I would grow old gracefully. I was a stupid little girl then. How was I supposed to know that all these wrinkles would one day consume the very essence of my being? I look older than 33. I look 50. Worst than just looking older, I look haggard. I donít expect any quick fixes. I donít expect to buy a product and whoomp there it is. I know everything takes time if itíll work. And Iím willing to try anything once. So, back to Oprah. There was this woman on there that was in her 60s. Her 60s people! And she looked better than me. Her secret? A little preper@tion H around the eyes and for her skin? A nice rubbing of V@gisil for that youthful glow. OK, I know it sounds ew. I know what your thinking and yes, yes I did purchase this stuff. In my defense I did not use any of it on my rectum or my vagina first. I opened it brand new and pretended it said eye cream and facial moisturizer. Like I said, Iíll try anything once. But so far, my face is glowing and my eyes are no longer puffy and dark.

*And if a certain someone is reading this (which I highly doubt) I know I donít have to be perfect to be loved. I want to look good for myself. Besides, you quit loving me YEARS ago, so why would you even care?

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