Too ticked for a title
2005-01-06 - 8:59 a.m.
Last night I was angry to the point of tears. I was so angry I couldnít see straight and began to cry hard. I know Iím typically emotional anyway, but even I am not that bad. I had been up half the night going over what I wish I could say but canít So I got out of bed early and made coffee for the man and tea for myself and came here. If I donít get rid f this anger I might just explode.
Let me start off by saying I love my parents and have a terrific relationship with them. And they are not the cause of my anger either. My family is not well off. I also know that my parents would have a lot more money if they hadnít spent the last 18 years bailing out me or my 4 sisters or my brother every time we got in a jam. And there were plenty of times we did. My parents are selfless people who would do anything for us (as well as people outside of the family). Right now they have 6 grandchildren living in their 2 bedroom house. Five of them belong to one sister who is off at a prestigious culinary school 13 hours away. My parents took the kids so that she could go for almost a year. A couple of years ago they took me and my 3 in for almost a year while husband was away in Virginia for training.
When Glen and I were only dating and he wound up in a coma from a car accident, my parents watched my two toddlers everyday and drove me to and from the hospitals (a good hour in traffic) for over two months. They have always been supportive and always treated Glen like their own son. They helped us out with food, money etc so many times and would forgo paying their bills to help us with ours. I could go on and on about the things theyíve done and the sacrifices they have made. I just want to make myself perfectly clear.
Donít get me wrong either. They are parents and behave like annoying parents sometimes. My mom likes to give advice (I know she means well) and she does some annoying things at times but nothing major in my opinion. But still I honestly believe if my parents hadnít been so selfless for so long they would definitely be doing a lot better. And so I would like to make it up to them.
My mother is the reason we are in Vienna. She saw it on our list and told us we should come here and that weíd love it. Sheíd always wanted to come herself. So here we are and yes we do love it. More than anything I want my parents to come here and see it too. Theyíve never really traveled. I tell them all the time how much I want them here. Of course they canít possibly afford the time or the money at the moment with the grandkids all there so they politely decline. I offer to buy them tickets (and itís cheaper at certain times of the year) and my mom tells me no, and please save my money. Although we arenít rich we can afford it. Well, I really want this for them. Badly. I want them to enjoy this place with me. I want to give back for all the times they gave to me. Now for what has me so angry.
A certain other family member called last night and I mentioned my parents would hopefully be getting their passports soon and coming here for a visit in the spring. I leave here in June so itís really their only opportunity. When I passed the phone to G this member had the nerve to ask him if we were buying their tickets. He said no because this person would have gone on a save your money your gonna need it stint. But when said member heard the word no they then asked if my parents came into some money. G said yes and left it alone. This pisses me off on SOOOO many levels.
First and foremost, this person is not paying our bills, has not loaned us any money (nor have we asked) and has left us to sink or swim many times in the last 10 years. Itís none of his/her fucking business wether we choose to buy my parents tickets or wether we wanna buy flying monkeys with our money. This is the same person that expects us to pay more than double the amount for plane tickets for a ski trip this Feb. so that my kids can keep their young one company. I donít even ski.
They donít even know my parents nor have they ever really had much interest in getting to know them because my parents arenít in the same tax bracket. My parents donít have a lot of money but more than make up for it in what they do have. I am not ashamed. Of course this is the same person who let me know what a fat ass I ended up to be. It just sickens me. Like we can spend the money when it comes to them but not when it comes to my own family. Money does not make someone better than someone else. An ass is still an ass no matter how much frills you put on.
And yes I do intend to get my parents out here. They deserve it more than anyone. I have plenty of opportunities to save money in the future but only one to get them here for a week. Iím glad I have this space to get this off my chest. I feel a little better now.
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