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Where the heck have I been?
2004-11-29 - 2:24 p.m.

I�ve been going crazy is where. Last weekend we held Emi�s 5th birthday here at the house. My littlest one is now 5. Sigh. I can�t remember my baby, my toddler anymore. Anyway, the party. We had 13; count �em 13 preschoolers running around this house for 2 hours. There was this one kid who was a royal pain in the @ss. This kid went around grabbing things, choking other kids, pulling the �me, first!� and screaming this high pitched scream almost the entire time. It took 2 hours and 6 aspirin afterward for my pounding headache to pass. It was a SpongeB*b themed party so I made this cool cake fully equipped with the little, absorbent, and yellow guy. I also made the signature pineapple under the sea. They loved the cake. Since we had a theme, my son drew a big SB on a poster sheet and we printed and cut out spatulas so the kids could play pin the spatula on the fry cook. I know I�m so creative like that. We had a couple of other games we made up but that one was the highlight. Hey, they were 4 and 5. Emi enjoyed her party and that�s what matters. It�s over with now and for me, that�s what matters.

For the past week I have had the in-laws here and his aunt and uncle. It really wasn�t too bad. Of course I was a nervous wreck before they came (typical of me) but then relaxed after a day or so. I did all the holiday cooking myself this year. I kicked @ss in the cooking department if I do say so myself. No dry meat from MY oven. And the turkey gravy? O-o-o-ohhh. That is my drug of choice, sweet, sweet gravy. And there was hardly a lump either. I smothered it on everything, just because I could. Oh yea baby. As I was saying, I did the holiday cooking and seemed to be cooking one thing or another every day of the week. I just want to thank Bob for leftovers.

As far as the week went it was pretty ok. We went out to a restaurant one night and had some really awesome schnitzel. It�s right down the street from here but in a year and a half; I�ve never been there. I had always wanted to but was afraid because of the language barrier and different way of ordering. Since his family speaks fluent German it was not a problem. The atmosphere there was nice and kind of rustic. Like being in a loft of a giant log cabin. We also wandered around downtown in the Christmas markets and I finally found the huge food flea market. That place is cool. It was quite colorful too with all the fruits and vegetables. I wished I had brought my camera but now that I know where the place is, I�ll go again.

Last but not least and just when I thought I was in the clear I was told,
�You have gained weight�
�Y-y-ea, I know�
�No, I mean you have gained A LOT of weight�
�I-I-I �.b-b-ut I,�
�What HAPPENED to you? When you got married, you just REALLY let yourself go.�

I�m sure this was meant as some sort of uh, constructive criticism if you will. As if I haven�t passed by the mirror a thousand times over the past 5 years and thought the same thing. As if going from a 10 to a 16 wasn�t enough of an indication. Or the extra 65-70 pounds on the scale that has had me avoiding seeing people I know for quite a few years because I fear they will be as repulsed with the sight of me as I am. I am fully aware of my drastic change of appearance without having my lil nose rubbed in it a bit more. It�s not as if I haven�t been attempting diet after diet, gone to the gym, walked the vineyards, etc. The process of losing just seems to be going pretty damn slow. And I quit smoking so COME ON.
THAT being said, I think I�ll go get some leftover turkey and gravy.

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