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Where the heck have I been?
2004-11-29 - 2:24 p.m.

I’ve been going crazy is where. Last weekend we held Emi’s 5th birthday here at the house. My littlest one is now 5. Sigh. I can’t remember my baby, my toddler anymore. Anyway, the party. We had 13; count ‘em 13 preschoolers running around this house for 2 hours. There was this one kid who was a royal pain in the @ss. This kid went around grabbing things, choking other kids, pulling the “me, first!” and screaming this high pitched scream almost the entire time. It took 2 hours and 6 aspirin afterward for my pounding headache to pass. It was a SpongeB*b themed party so I made this cool cake fully equipped with the little, absorbent, and yellow guy. I also made the signature pineapple under the sea. They loved the cake. Since we had a theme, my son drew a big SB on a poster sheet and we printed and cut out spatulas so the kids could play pin the spatula on the fry cook. I know I’m so creative like that. We had a couple of other games we made up but that one was the highlight. Hey, they were 4 and 5. Emi enjoyed her party and that’s what matters. It’s over with now and for me, that’s what matters.

For the past week I have had the in-laws here and his aunt and uncle. It really wasn’t too bad. Of course I was a nervous wreck before they came (typical of me) but then relaxed after a day or so. I did all the holiday cooking myself this year. I kicked @ss in the cooking department if I do say so myself. No dry meat from MY oven. And the turkey gravy? O-o-o-ohhh. That is my drug of choice, sweet, sweet gravy. And there was hardly a lump either. I smothered it on everything, just because I could. Oh yea baby. As I was saying, I did the holiday cooking and seemed to be cooking one thing or another every day of the week. I just want to thank Bob for leftovers.

As far as the week went it was pretty ok. We went out to a restaurant one night and had some really awesome schnitzel. It’s right down the street from here but in a year and a half; I’ve never been there. I had always wanted to but was afraid because of the language barrier and different way of ordering. Since his family speaks fluent German it was not a problem. The atmosphere there was nice and kind of rustic. Like being in a loft of a giant log cabin. We also wandered around downtown in the Christmas markets and I finally found the huge food flea market. That place is cool. It was quite colorful too with all the fruits and vegetables. I wished I had brought my camera but now that I know where the place is, I’ll go again.

Last but not least and just when I thought I was in the clear I was told,
“You have gained weight”
“Y-y-ea, I know”
“No, I mean you have gained A LOT of weight”
“I-I-I ….b-b-ut I,”
“What HAPPENED to you? When you got married, you just REALLY let yourself go.”

I’m sure this was meant as some sort of uh, constructive criticism if you will. As if I haven’t passed by the mirror a thousand times over the past 5 years and thought the same thing. As if going from a 10 to a 16 wasn’t enough of an indication. Or the extra 65-70 pounds on the scale that has had me avoiding seeing people I know for quite a few years because I fear they will be as repulsed with the sight of me as I am. I am fully aware of my drastic change of appearance without having my lil nose rubbed in it a bit more. It’s not as if I haven’t been attempting diet after diet, gone to the gym, walked the vineyards, etc. The process of losing just seems to be going pretty damn slow. And I quit smoking so COME ON.
THAT being said, I think I’ll go get some leftover turkey and gravy.

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