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They Call Me P.B.
2004-09-30 - 8:21 p.m.

For those of you who wanted to know, yes you can call me Pumpkin Butt, and not just because it smells all nice and cinnamon-pumpkin-spicy. Itís also silky smooth too. Really it is just an extension of my nickname my mom gave me when I was a roly-poly baby. She called me Love Pumpkin. Ok, so she still calls me that. AndÖand, and, and..my butt is quite large and pumpkin-y shaped at the moment. It is almost October (my favorite month) so call me Pumpkin Butt. Iíll dig it.

Speaking of pumpkin-shaped butts, I bought my dress for the Ball this year. If you remember from last year, the Marine Ball is held every November and us women get to pretend like itís prom. I never went to my prom and last year was my first ball. I felt like a princess for that one night. Well, this year it falls on my birthday, my 33rd to be exact. I have had some pretty sucky birthdays the past couple of years so this year is extra special. I have been having these nightmares about not having a dress for the ball especially because they donít really cater to my size here and it is about 3 to 4 hundred euro for a gown here.

Anyway, I went online and found some dresses I really liked. I am a tomboy and have no real sense of style but they were ball gowns (it said so on the page) and I thought they were perrdy. One in particular was silver and had spaghetti straps and is a one piece but looks like 2 pieces with a big puffed out skirt. It reminded me of Cinderella. I was just about to get it when somebody who meant to be helpful only ended up cutting into my insecurities. I suddenly felt like I was going to be this big fat slob in a big ass ball gown and people might stare or laugh (Iím a size 16/18 up from a 12). I thought Iíll look ridiculous and I started moping over stupid ďmother of the brideĒ dresses for old ladies but theyíd at least cover up my unsightly bulge.

Before anyone groans at me, I mulled it over for a day and changed my mind. It will be my night dammit. Itís a full length dress, not sleazy or tasteless. Itís pretty and sparkly and what I wanted. For anyone who is curious you can see it here http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=5325204944. I am also going to wear a little tiara for my ďparty hatĒ. Itís only for one night so hey, what the hell. Iím going to live it up and pretend Iím Cinderella of the ball, pumpkin butt and all.

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