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Papa, Can you hear me?
2003-10-19 - 10:02 a.m.

Roberts father, Warner passed away on Thursday. They think it was a massive heart attack. It came on so quickly no one, not even he had time to think about it.

He was a second father to me, my step-dad being the first and my bio not counting. It was such an unexpected loss. For the past few years he had been working extra hard at maintaining his health.

I have so much I want and need to say about him that it will take me a few days to be able to do him proper justice.

He treated me like his own long after I had left. I was always welcome and always felt loved. I know God has his plans but dammit, it was just too soon. Dylan and Kelly had yet to go fishing and hunting with him. They were just beginning to know the man I knew and loved.

In a flash he was taken. He suffered no pain, which is a blessing but I hurt so much for those I know are suffering now and will continue to suffer. I wish I could ease their pain.

Robert said that he and his father were working on something, a car maybe, just the day before. He had just gone to the doctor for a check up.

After Dylans ordeal last weekend, he took the news VERY hard. I don't know how to explain the circle of life and death to him in a way that brings him peace. I am trying. But he is only nine and never had to deal with this sort of thing before.

I have been at such a loss. Memories have been flooding my head and my heart for days. I only have fond memories. These, I will share in the next few days. They are important to me and my family. I wish I could be in Oklahoma for support but I am too far away.

I know he is in his heaven now watching over his family but I wonder if, from where he sits, he can see me too, and know how I feel about him.

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