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Taking someone from crayons to perfumes.......
2003-07-20 - 9:25 a.m.

Sigh. OK, this is my day to whine. I don't usually whine. Well, not here anyway, but today I just feel like it. I looked at my sisters diary. When I first started this and mentioned it to her, she scoffed at me and said she didn't have time for such stuff. She had a life, unlike me. Still, I told her to just check it out. Then suddenly, she turned into a diaryland monster. Everybody reads her and everybody loves her and she is so funny and so witty and yada yada yada. She has a great layout that she did herself and made all the links I still havent figured out yet. She has banners. I don't. I have only 1 note left to me by someone. Thank you to that someone. Don't get me wrong, I love my sister and she is smart and witty and all. But I suddenly feel like I must be boring. Or mundane. I don't know. Am I not clever enough? Not witty enough? Don't have enough wild antics? Actually, I do but I don't write about it here. Yea, a little bit of sister jealousy I guess. I just want something that is, well mine. Something that I do well. Something that people might appreciate. I have always loved to write. Albeit, not the best, and I do not choose to clutter everything up with more intellectual wording. But still. Anyway, that is my whine of the day. Oh and it was her birthday yesterday. Happy Birthday Brandi.

In other news, the descision I made about the money I still feel was the right one and I think the total outcome will be best for all involved.

Last week, my daughter got her first period. She is the same age I was. The summer before turning 12. Yes, she is young but developing quickly. Poor thing is going to go through what I did. She has been moody as well. I have been understanding and given lots of hugs and wiped away tears. She made it through. But now, every month from here on out will be a journey into female puberty. I look at Em and remember when Kel was that small. It wasn't that long ago. She was a toddler begging to be my "rock-a-bye baby" and I would pull her up on my lap and rock her and sing every Paul Simon song I could think of till she fell asleep. She made up this joke that she told over and over.

Knock Knock.

Who's There?


Apple who?

Apple on your head!!!

And then she would bust up laughing. She memorized 'The Color Kittens' at the age of four and appeared to actually be reading the book. She was my KellyWell. My KellyBelly, KellyBean. She loved Barney and Raffi and The Muppet Babies. She stripped down to her undies several times a day till I finally gave up trying to dress her in the summers. She love to play with make-up and trucks alike. When her little brother came, she was always mothering him and taking care of him. They played so well together and were sooo cute.

But in a blink of an eye, she grew to 5 foot 4 and is still growing. Her pudgy cheeks have disappeared. She is a lovely young lady now. Sigh. All those years flew by. I look at her now and I suddenly see a grown woman heading off to college and adventure. Walking down the aisle on her wedding day. I know she is only 11 1/2 now but time goes by. Quickly. Last night, I told her to come lie next to me on the couch and be my "rock-a-bye baby".

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