The way I see it....
2003-06-01 - 8:25 a.m.
You know, sometimes....ignorance is bliss. I mean, why screw up a good deal when you got it? I say this because for once in a long, long time I am not aware of what's going on in the world. I live up on a hillside next to vineyards and hiking trails and across from the prestigious American International School. I haven't seen any t.v. in 3 months and I don't miss it.
The stress of the rest of the world I am oblivious to. And I am a high anxiety person. I remember, in the 7th grade I watched this movie called 'The Day After' about nuclear bombs going off and the aftermath of it all. I lost sleep for weeks and came this (*) close to carrying a sign stating The End is NEAR!! When I was watching the news some 5 months ago I was going to Costco and buying cases of water and stacking them up at moms house. I was thinking, when the world war starts at least WE will be hydrated. I chew my nails. I flip my hair. Nervous habits. Some days I'd wake up and automatically feel this impending doom and spend the rest of the day stressing and wondering, how do I save the family today? Like I said, I have high anxiety and other special tics that make me, well...me.
I lived in San Diego where everything is always go, go, go....now, now, now,....more, more, more! It was neverending. Anybody who lives in a big city probably knows what I mean. It can be exhausting trying to keep up. I reached my burnout zone towards the end and stayed in my room. Of course I still had the worries of the world on my shoulders. Which brings me to what I'm getting at, I suppose. Now that I have no tv, I don't see the news, and papers are in German, I don't have any choice but to remain ignorant on matters that would normally give me great amounts of stress. And most everyone here is alot like me. We live in our own special little world where all is calm and our kids are happy just being kids. Can you imagine what it's like? We dont pay rent or utilities either. It's a nice setup. We never have to worry about covering the rent or risking eviction from a dumpy little apartment. I can finally calm down after years of pulling my hair out.
I think those tribes in the jungle have it made. They know how to live off of the land. It's like camping every night. They light fires have a cook out, sings songs. During the day they fish, and hunt, weave and grind and live life enjoying what God created. I hate it when some asshole has to come in bringing them tupperware or some crap thinking he's doing them a big service. That would cause stress. Like who gets to use the tupperware? Fights over whose turn it is and what happens if it gets lost? Or chewed up by the pet dingo, or boar, or whatever pets they have? Then what? Stress....Someone has to go out into the big world to find MORE tupperware.
He packs his gunny sack or woven cotton or whatever they use with enough fruit and grain and grubs to last a week. He straps on his loin cloth and heads out into the wild world in search of tupperware as the tribe is going crazy at home from the lack of. After weeks of searchin he comes to a small town. He only speaks tribal. The townspeople don't understand him except for the one word......tupperware. So they look at each other with knowing eyes and they say, "We're sorry but we got to keep all the tupperware we have. You'll have to go to the BIG CITY." And they put him on a train.
He has never seen such a thing and his mind is overwhelmed by all the new things he sees. In the BIG CITY they stop him. Again he speaks the familiar word. Tupperware. And they say, "SUUUURRRREEE...we got tupperware but you're in the BIG CITY and it aint right to be walking around in that there diaper you've got on. You've got to get you some new clothes. You'll need to shower with some soap too. You smell something awful." So the people of the BIG CITY take him and clean him up with this funny fragranced stuff they call soap. He smells like a flower he thinks. They put him in some cool clothes. Name brand even. They say that's the best. They give him some sporty high top athletic shoes that squeeze to your foot when you pump this little thing on them. He was amazed. And then they took him to the MEGA DEPARTMENT STORE. He went out of his mind!!! Not only did they have the magic tupperware, but they had clothes, and gadgets, and CD players, soaps and perfumes and pots and pans and glass dishes...and...and so much stuff!!! He thought, this BIG CITY is the greatest!!!
So he loads up on all these shiny new things because the BIG CITY folks say he needs it and he simply can't live without it. Then he makes his way home to show off all the magic he brought back from his journey to the BIG CITY. Well you can imagine how impressed his tribe was. They oooohed and aaaahed over what they saw. And there was more than just tupperware! Everyone clamored for something. Everyone received at least one treasure he'd brought back. And they were very happy at first. But, as you can imagine,things around the ol hut village started to get unnerving. Of course everyone couldn't wait to wash with the new soap because that's what the BIG CITY people said was necessary. And it smelled good like flowers. BUT they lived in the jungle.
They forgot why they rubbed mud and dung and what not on their skin. The jungle has many many insects and the insects were very attracted to the smell of flowers. They chased the tribe and swarmed them and bit up their skin searching for pollen. So they had to rush and cover up with mud again. Not to mention, the soap made their drinking water all greyish and murky and they could not drink it. The soap became evil so they buried it far away.
They still had other things to contend with which were still magic and much needed according to the people of the BIG CITY. When things broke down or no longer worked the tribe wanted more because the people in the BIG CITY said they needed it.The cheif saw great danger in this way of thinking. His tribe was fighting over possessions and not being productive anymore because of all the fighting. They no longer sang at night, too caught up in jealousy over who had what. But, one by one, they found fault with each item. The clothes were too hot and too confining for hunting and tree climbing. The glass dishes broke and cut the feet of the children. The CD player with the magic sound stopped playing one day (the batteries died) and it became a useless piece of junk. One by one, the stuff piled up and became evil. One by one, it was all buried never to be spoken of again. They hadn't realized that they already lived efficantly for them. By then, some of them had the fever and left the tribe to go find more in the BIG CITY as the new life appealed to them. But they were never as happy as they were in the tribe because they always had to worry about the things one has to worry about when you live in THE BIG CITY.
That's how I see it. They were much happier not knowing what they were missing out on. That's the way I feel now. I love to just breath the air. I love to just hear the birds and the children outside laughing as they play. My biggest stress factor is wether to make meatloaf or fishsticks for dinner. I don't know what I am missing out on anymore and I am happier.
My son had his playoff game on Saturday. He was very confident that his team, the GIANTS, would beat the Phillies Securing their place in the Playoffs. The kids played hard. Dylan was catcher again. His Dad taught him how to flip off his mask with one move to catch fouls. The coach said he looked just like Pete Rose. Dylan was sweating out there. When he went up to bat he struck out. I told him it's ok he'll get it next time. It was a close game. The next bat up Dylan struck out again. I could see the disappointment in his face, though he tried to hide it.
The teams were tied but the Tigers got another run. Then it was the GIANTS up in the last inning. The first kid Mark, not more than 10 but large framed, hit the ball so hard it went passed the fence. It was an awesome hit shouldve been a triple but the ump called it a double. The next kid up had a base hit but got out at the base. Mark made it to third. Then the next two boys struck out and that was the end. The GIANTS lost to the Phillies. The score was 4 to 3, the Phillies.
The Giants would not continue in the playoffs. And they finished last place for the season. Dylan could no longer hide his pain and openly cried. He was ashamed that they were in the very last place. Other boys began to cry too. They felt like failures. To us parents, they were our little heroes. They got out there and they sweated, batted, and ran, and slid, and dirtied their clothes. They searched us out to make sure we saw when they caught the ball or hit the ball or ran home and we all cheered them on. How could we make them feel better now? They thought they let us down.
All of us parents circled them and reassured them how great they truly were and how proud we were for all their efforts. Then one optimistic kid spoke up and said "At least we dont have to play the DUCKS today. It's too hot". And all the boys agreed. "Yea, lets go get a hot dog." Spoken like real troopers.
I had a dream last night. It was very jumbled but funny to me just the same. I was on the set of some show when Bill Cosby was standing there telling me this is my old family (insert the cast of THE COSBY SHOW) and this is my new family (Cosby cast disappears in thin air and a new family is there) they were starting a new show. I was going to be a neighbor friend in the show. They redid the set and in the meantime, I was making a movie that was really stupid but the cameos were great so I continued. I remember there was Clint Eastwood and I said something Dirty Harry style that made him laugh. I saw Michael J Fox in his Back to The Future garb. I said "Outta my way Future Boy!" and went off to fight Godzilla. There were others but I can't recall who now. Well I said to Someone that this was a really sucky movie and it turned out to be the director who then fired me. ANd all I could think of was "Damn, now how will I get the money for a boob job???" So I went around begging the other cast members for ploastic surgery money. Then my sister told me it would only cost 500 which I could afford. But when I went to the surgeon he said your boobs are already too big. I said, I want them lifted and I put my hands under them and raised them to show what I meant. He said he couldnt do it because I would look silly. I was disappointed. then I opted for laser eye surgery even though I never even wore glasses, then I woke up. So tell me, what the heck does THAT mean?
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